A Rat's Tale
by Black Ice
Summary: AU Started and continued in the PreOoTP era. This is Peter's story. This is his life, these are his friends, this is his family, this will become his betrayal. And all he wanted was to be loved. !Please RR! updated 12
1. Beginning

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Not all stories have to be about the heroes. I've noticed that Peter is usually left out or right away pegged as the bad guy. I felt as if I needed to write this, as if it was the challenge I was looking for. Even though it's not finished yet, I think I've finally found my muse again. 

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Harry Potter. The only people in this story who are mine are Peter's family members. All else belong to J.K. Rowling. However, I wrote the sorting hat song.

A Rat's Tale:

The Beginning

Of course, you all have me pegged as the bad guy. I gave my friends to Voldemort and then dumped one of them in Azkaban. I'm a bastard and I know it. I do deserve the names that you call me, the things that you say about me, the ways that you just ignore me, but if you knew the whole story, maybe you wouldn't be so quick to judge me. 

My story begins all those years ago on the Hogwarts Express. I can remember being terrified at the prospect of walking through the magical barrier between platforms nineteen and twenty. The majority of people on the other side of the barrier were going to know what they were doing. They were going to know what a charm was and how to transfigure a match into a needle. Although I was a pure-blood, I hadn't shown any magic ability until I was almost eight years old. My parents had spent the first five years of their marriage after I was born arguing about what to do with me if I was a Squib, then spent the next three in the court room arguing over who had to have custody over me. One day during one of their worse fights I had made a plate of glass in the window disappear and reappear in front of me, blocking out their angry words. They then quickly solved their dispute by a joint-custody proposal, but neither was especially nice to me until I got my Hogwarts letter when I was eleven. 

So anyway, there I was. I was standing in front of the magical barrier, my mother impatiently tapping her foot next to me. I could tell that she was just thrilled to get rid of me and go home and focus on my new stepfather and my half-sister, who unlike me, had shown that she could perform magic since she was two. My trunk sat on the cart next to me. My mother grabbed me and the cart and pushed us both through the barrier. An experience that was supposed to stay with me for the rest of my life was ruined by the scolding I received for wasting my mother's time. 

Normally a scolding like this would be very embarrassing and I would be reduced to tears almost immediately. However, this particular scolding hadn't gotten through to me. I had spotted a group of boys hanging around with their parents. In another corner, there was a terrified red-haired girl standing with her equally terrified parents. I had taken one look at her and labeled her a Muggle-born--not that that was a problem or anything. 

"…you better stay for the Christmas holiday this year Peter. Your stepfather, sister, and I are going to the states and I know that your father will be busy…" my mother trailed off once again and I continued to ignore her. However, I had caught that one sentence. I guess my parents were going back into their normal bickering state about who had to keep me over the holiday breaks. Now they wouldn't have to worry anymore though. They were just going to dump me here. But for once, I didn't care. The excitement was starting to mount. This was Hogwarts. I had been waiting for this all summer. 

"Peter? Peter? The train is about to leave. We'd better get your trunk on board." My mother then swept me up into a hug, a very rare thing for her to do. She helped me drag my trunk onto the train and then turned on her heel and left without a goodbye. I guess the hug that she gave me had pushed her to her limits. It didn't really bother me though, I was used to it by now. I slowly dragged my trunk down to an empty compartment and heaved it inside, pausing to slowly catch my breath. I walked over to the window and pressed my face against it. My mother was already gone. 

The noise level around me was growing as more and more people got onto the train and herded into the unoccupied compartments. Nobody entered mine. They kept on walking by it, peering through the door. I know what they were thinking. _Poor little fat boy, mother didn't even say goodbye to him. _They'd thought it before. But like I said earlier--I was used to it. I opened my trunk and got out my copy of Quidditch Through the Ages and began to read. It didn't bother me that I was alone in my compartment, I actually liked it like that. Everything would be nice and quiet and I could read about my favorite sport even though my father said I could never play. 

The next thing I knew, they came in. They didn't even knock on the glass door or ask my permission to sit down. They simply dragged their trunks in and stored them under the seat. I was about ready to ask them to leave when the taller of the two black-haired boys stuck his hand in my direction and announced, "Hello, I'm James Potter." 

It would have been rude to ignore a gesture like that. My mother had done it so many times and I remembered every single one of them. I put my book on the seat next to me, grabbed James' hand and looked made eye contact with him. "Hi, I'm Peter Pettigrew."

"And I," announced the other boy with a dramatic tone to his voice, "am Sirius Black." The tone of his voice, the way he held himself, everything about him screamed _look at me! _He obviously was used to being the center of attention and not having to almost beg his mother to look at him. For a moment, I felt a twinge of jealousy through my body. I quickly pushed it aside as James struck up a conversation about Quidditch. For the rest of the train ride they sat with me and I occasionally commenting on this or that. 

When we finally arrived at Hogwarts, I was surprised to hear a voice calling the first years off the train. Nobody had warned me about a special trip across the lake. My father had made a few well-placed comments about the giant squid and what it would do to me if I fell into the water. Therefore when I heard that I had to cross the lake with the giant squid in it, I almost hid in my trunk. James and Sirius, by now tired with my non-existent social skills, had run ahead and already jumped into one of the boats and had begun the first water fight of the school year. They had invaded the boat of a ragged looking boy with light brown hair. After drenching him, James began to wave at somebody. After looking around me several times, I realized that he was waving at me. I walked over and sat down in their boat and promptly was soaked by Sirius. For some reason, I didn't really care. 

After a few incidents with tipping other boats and teasing the giant squid, we arrived at the school. A strict looking woman met us by the door and introduced herself as Professor McGonagall. She led us off to a big door and explained that on the other side we would be sorted into our houses. She then pulled James and Sirius aside for a few moments. Sirius came back with a huge grin on his face, proclaiming that he and James had become the only students to ever receive a detention before the sorting feast. I tried to grin, but once again my nervousness of the next task was starting to get to me. My mother had explained that to get sorted in order to get sorted into a good house you had to be strong and brave and loyal and then had promptly told me that I was none of those. I watched as Professor McGonagall pushed open the door and led us through the middle of a huge room filled with lights. At the very front was a stool with a beat-up hat on it. Sirius then became the first student ever to receive two detentions before being sorted. 

After the hat was returned to its stool, the large rip on the top opened to reveal a make-shift mouth. I then realized that all I had to do was try on the hat, and it would sort me into a house. When the hat started to sing, I think I was the most surprised of everybody in the group of first years. 

__

Every hat has its story, as do I

I belonged to a king, a duke, and a sire.

I sorted the thoughts of one poor man's head

And then watched as he wearily strode off to bed.

Now I am here to tell you where to go

Which house you belong to, I will know

If you belong in Gryffindor, where you will be brave

Daring and nerve are qualities to crave.

You might be a Hufflepuff, loyal at heart

Patience and just will give you a start.

A Ravenclaw is the wisest of wise

Wit and learning replace telling lies.

You might be a Slytherin, cunning folk

True friends you'll make, this isn't a joke.

Now that you're sorted and your house has been made

Be kind to others and don't be afraid.

The song surprised me, just as everything else had that day so far. None of the qualities listed sounded quite like me so far. Maybe my mother was right. Maybe Hogwarts wasn't right for me and I was really the worthless piece of shit.

_" Black, Sirius!"_

I didn't deserve to be here, I was going to grow up and be worthless, just as she always said I would be.

_"Gryffindor!"_

My father was right too. They should have just dumped me on my grandparents when they had had the chance.

_" Diggory, Amos!"_

Even with my grandparents I would have been a failure. That's why they wouldn't take me in.

_"Hufflepuff!"_

Why didn't they ever trust me?

_" Lupin, Remus!"_

Why was I such a failure? Why couldn't they have even tried to be nice to me?

_"Gryffindor!"_

_They always told me that I would amount to nothing. Were they right?_

"Pettigrew, Peter!"

_Why don't they love me?_

"**Gryffindor!**"

Would they be proud of me now?


	2. Feast

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Sorry this part took longer then I thought it would. I was really busy all week and didn't have time to write. I'll try and get parts out more frequently in the future. 

Some information in this part was checked using Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone as well as the webpage "Harry Potter Lexicon" which can be found at this address: http://www.i2k.com/~svderark/lexicon/index.html

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Harry Potter, his family, or the Marauders. I do own Peter's mother and family. They are of my own creation. 

A Rat's Tale:

The Feast 

I walked towards the Gryffindor table in blind stupor. The hat had specifically said that the Gryffindor folk were brave, something that my mother had told me was one of my poorest qualities. All those times that I'd ducked her blows, all the times that I'd hidden from her screaming, she'd yelled at the top of her lungs that a brave child would stand up and accept what he had coming. I'd always justified my actions by telling myself that my safety was more important then bravery. Had I really been brave to stand up to her like that?

Somehow, I'd made it to the table. Sirius was already sitting there along with Remus and two girls who were clearly first years. James had run up behind me and sat down at the table before I'd gotten there, obviously excited to be sorted into the same house as his best friend. The two girls watched as the last few first years were sorted, then continued to talk amongst themselves. They were obviously the only female first years at the Gryffindor table. No other boys were sorted into Gryffindor either. It seemed that Sirius, Remus, James and I were the only Gryffindor first year boys. I let out a small laugh. Funny how all their names ended in a 's' and mine didn't. 

"What's so funny?" the darker-haired girl of the two asked me. I was surprised that any of them had actually heard me laugh or had even noticed that I was there. 

"Nothing really," I said. The girl gave me a funny look and turned her face to Dumbledore, who had stood up at the staff table. The whole Great Hall had suddenly become silent. The older students hushed the occasional first or second year voice that drifted through the large room. 

"There is a list of items not allowed in the castle in your common rooms. Please look over it, as you will receive a detention if caught with one of the items. A reminder to the older students and a warning to first years that the Forbidden Forrest is off limits to those who wish to remain alive. A warning to all students that a rare Whomping Willow has been planted on the Hogwarts' grounds. I am advising all students not to go near this plant without a staff member because it has been known to cause severe bodily harm to those who approach it wrong. As I see that you are all very hungry, I leave you with this: Bon Appetit!" 

The entire Great Hall once again broke into a low roar of chatter. I looked in front of me to see dishes piled high with all sorts of mouth-watering foods. I'd never seen so much in my life. I tentatively grabbed the spoon in the dish of mashed potatoes and put a small spoonful on my plate. The smallest piece of chicken soon followed the suite, along with a small serving of salad. 

"You conserving food or something?" I heard Sirius ask me from down the table. I looked up to see that everybody had large portions on their plates. Sirius himself was holding a chicken leg in each hand. "You on a diet?"

"No," I said. I picked up my fork and started to eat. It had always been take what you can get and don't ask for more at my house. I wasn't about to push my luck. If I took too much, then somebody would tell me in a loud voice and embarrass me. Now playing it safe wasn't even a option anymore. I tried to push my mind off of food and turned to the dark-haired girl who was sitting next to me. "I'm Peter, what's your name?" The frank and slightly demanding tone of my voice surprised both of us. 

"Arabella Figg," she said. She motioned towards the girl sitting next to her. "Do you know Lily Evans?" The red-haired girl smiled at me. "We're the only two first year girls."

I smiled at her. I don't really know why I did, but it just seemed appropriate for the situation. I'd never been good at making friends and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to learn. "I guess I'm one of four. James, Sirius and Remus are my roommates." Lily and Arabella nodded, then continued on in their own conversation. 

"Hey Peter, up for the Forbidden Forest tomorrow?" Sirius called. I could tell that he was annoyed at my lack of emotion to the comment he had made earlier. I wasn't surprised that he was already suggesting the Forbidden Forest. Across from me, Remus was shaking his head and James was rolling his eyes. It was obvious the two had already declined the offer. 

"No thanks, unless you're up for your third detention before the first day of classes," I responded, stressing the word 'up'. Remus broke into silent laughter, but James didn't contain himself. The older students looked towards him, then continued their conversations. Sirius grunted, as if this were a common occurrence, and continued to eat. The other slowly followed his example, pausing only to refill their plates every once in awhile. 

I absentmindedly picked at the food on my plate, not eating it, but not ignoring its presence completely. I thought back to the Sorting Cap. I hadn't been listening when it had been placed on my head and had been examining my thoughts. I still didn't quite understand why I'd been placed in a house with these people. Sirius had already proven his nerves, standing up to the staff before he'd even been put into a house. I hadn't done anything like that, it wasn't natural for me. I tended to try and avoid tough situations on instinct. Getting into trouble always led to more pain then it was worth. Sirius seemed to relish in it. I didn't.

I lost myself completely in my thoughts and barely spoke for the rest of the feast. I barely noticed when the desert course appeared or when the entire meal vanished into thin air. I do remember getting up and following the designated prefect to the Gryffindor common room. It was very nicely furnished, the couch and chairs a bit worn, but cozy. The prefect directed us up the boys staircase and to the third floor up that had been designated "First Years." I found my trunk and opened it, finding my unfolded pajamas stuffed into a corner. I tossed the wrinkled clothes onto my bed and watched as the other three took clean, folded pajamas out of their trunks.

"Who packed for you?" I heard Sirius ask in amazement. I quickly slammed my trunk shut. My mother hadn't packed for me. She'd just thrown stuff towards me, occasionally dumping a load of clean laundry on my floor. My half-sister had wandered into my room after an hour of trying to fold my clothes and had started to throw them everywhere. My mother had left the room, the silent cuss under her breath, taking my sister with her and not coming back, leaving me to fend for myself. Folding had never been one of my strong points.

"I packed for me," I answered, trying not to sound too annoyed. "I suppose your parents packed for you?"

"Nope, I did." Sirius said, obviously proud of himself. His mother had probably spent hours sitting next to him, discussing whether he would need six pairs of jeans or seven to last him the long winter. She'd most likely folded each article with pride, placing it in her son's trunk while Sirius sat next to her directing where to put it. 

I sat down on my bed and pulled the curtains closed. It was the nicest bed that I'd ever seen. The comforter alone was most likely worth more then I'd ever held in my hands. Money wasn't an issue around my house, however my proximity to money was. I pulled off my shirt and put on the pajama top. It smelled.

After I'd finished changing, I opened up the curtains to see the other three standing together next to the water jug, talking between themselves. I quickly left the room and found the bathroom. After brushing my teeth, I walked back up to the room. Sirius, Remus and James hadn't moved from the water jug. I quickly grabbed Quidditch Through the Ages out of my trunk and lay down on the bed and continued to read. I don't know when I slipped off to sleep, but I know I did and I know that my roommates were still talking by the water jug when I fell asleep.


	3. Christmas

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Hey, I'm sorry this took longer then I wanted it to. Anyway, to answer a question, everybody was wondering what Remus, Sirius, and James were doing at the water pitcher. The answer is…nothing! I was just trying to make a point about how left out and alone Peter is feeling right now. Anyway, in this chapter, the view switches from the "remembering" state to Peter's present state of mind, then switches back. This is set apart by several lines and is used because writing out the day-by-day description of his life would be boring and is not what I wanted to do with this story. 

Thanks to all who review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the things associated with it. I wrote this story and the story line is mine. Peter's half-sister, Amelia, and his stepfather, Andrew, and his mother all belong to me.

A Rat's Tale

Christmas

The next morning, I woke up before everybody else. Remus was in the bed next to mine and James and Sirius were on the other side. I quickly grabbed a clean robe and some clothes out of my trunk and pulled the curtains closed to change. I headed down to the bathroom I'd found the other night and found an empty shower stall. After awhile, I heard James and Sirius' loud voices carry into the room. I quickly finished my shower and headed down to the Great Hall. 

The Great Hall was full of younger students who'd set out early in hopes of not getting lost. One of the horror stories that I'd heard from my mother was of the moving hallways and changing doors that loved it when you were late to class. I guess it wasn't just another story my mother had told me, because almost the entire first year population had turned out for breakfast pretty early. The only ones missing were Sirius and James. Even Remus was sitting at the Gryffindor table, piling food onto his plate and talking to Lily and Arabella. I walked over and sat down and joined in the conversation, probably one of the boldest things I'd ever done. 

"First year schedules," a boy from down the table said, passing a pile of paper my way. I took it and sorted through them until I found mine, then passed it along to Remus. Potions with Slytherins, Herbology with Hufflepuffs, nothing with Ravenclaws, Transfiguration with McGonagall. I hadn't heard of or tried most of the things that the schedule said I would be learning about. People who are thought to be squibs don't learn about magic. 

Suddenly, owls flew in through the windows, each directed at a different student. Parchment envelopes, newspapers, and packages fell from the sky, landing in front of students in the most inconvenient places. Remus managed to catch a letter before it fell into his bowl of porridge, opened it, then turned slightly red. The girls each had a small package of their own. Lily was looking at it and smiling, then began to tell Arabella about her father's fear of owls and how he couldn't understand why he couldn't just put a stamp on the package and have it delivered to Hogwarts. Arabella began to laugh at the story and was starting to tell one of her own when James and Sirius arrieved, freshly showered, at our table. 

Both of them held smaller packages and a letter apiece, the owls obviously finding them before they had gotten to the table. They began to tear at the wrapping, James finding a box of chocolate frogs and Sirius getting a new deck of self-shuffling playing cards. 

"…she says not to get in too much trouble…" I overheard Sirius telling James as he read the letter. James started to laugh and accidentally opened the box allowing one of the frogs to escape onto Lily's pile of toast. 

"How much trouble is too much?" I heard myself ask. Both Sirius and James looked at me and grinned. 

"Not enough," Sirius responded. He looked at the food piled on the table and grabbed the plate of eggs. "Did you get anything?"

I felt my ears beginning to turn red. Of course I hadn't received a thing. My mother had made it quite clear that once I entered Hogwarts, she wouldn't be in touch. My father couldn't care less about my existence. He only cared about his girlfriend and his job. "No, and I don't expect to."

Right away I knew that I had answered the question far to harshly. Sirius wasn't grinning anymore and James and Remus were both staring at me. "God, it was just a question, don't bite my head off."

"I'm sorry," I said, but I wasn't. I know that it was just an innocent question and I know that Sirius didn't know any better, but I couldn't help but snap. Wasn't it considered rude to ask a question like that? My parents could have been dead for all he knew. I don't know why, but this combined with the events of the other night sparked something inside of me. At that time, I didn't know what the feeling was. But now I do. It was the very beginnings of hate, something that I had only felt towards my family in the past.

At this moment, I don't hate anybody. Fear, yes, but hate, no. I don't really know why I began to hate Sirius that day. I guess it was because he had everything I didn't have; friends, parents. As the months went on, I began to build a stronger friendship with the three of them, however I always was slightly cautious around Sirius. 

The next few days were typical first days of school. I was late to classes, I spilled potion ingredients, I blew things up, and I got a detention. However, those days were some of the best that I'd ever had. Hogwarts was finally starting to open itself up to me, and I was accepting it for all it had. Nothing especially exciting happened until Christmas of that year, when I was finally into the routine. James had opted to return home, but both Sirius and Remus' parents were taking vacations and had asked that they remain at Hogwarts. Lily was also returning home, much to the dismay of Arabella who had to spend the Christmas Holiday alone in their room. Everybody agreed that it was unusual to have only two Gryffindor girls, but neither of them were complaining. The night after the two of them had left; the four of us were sitting at one of the common room tables. Sirius and Remus were playing chess, Arabella was reading, and I was trying to figure out how to write an essay about a potion.

The chess pieces were one of the things that I liked most about the Wizard world. My mother had never let me play wizard games, saying that it was important that I get used to the Muggle way of living. I'd learned how to play chess, but my pieces had never moved and they certainly didn't tell me where to move them. It was obvious that Sirius didn't have much experience with the game either, but that was by choice. Remus, on the other hand, had lots of experience and was proving it by forcing Sirius into checkmate for the second time that night. 

"Peter, do you need help with that?" Arabella asked, obviously bored from her book. I nodded, pushing the assignment and the parchment towards her. I didn't understand how you could write an essay about a potion. Was I supposed to write about the effects, the ingredients, or the reason behind making it? Arabella was looking over my blotched attempts and giggling to herself. "It would help if you knew what you were doing, wouldn't it?" she said. 

"Yeah, it would," I answered. I listened as she began to explain to me what the Professor wanted when he had assigned the essay, but was soon distracted by yet another fight between Remus and Sirius. Sirius' chess pieces had gotten into the mood of the fight, each striking their own individual menacing stance across the board. It looked as if Remus had refused a third game, sighting bed as his reason. Sirius sighed and began to pack up his pieces. He looked at me watching to fight and a small smile came across his face. I turned back to Arabella. I'd learned in the past few months that any smile of Sirius' was dangerous. 

"Peter, game?" he asked. His request didn't sound as life threatening as some of the other ones he'd made. I nodded my head, pulling the essay back from Arabella and putting it on the floor. I could finish it later. 

"Remus, can I borrow your chess set?" I called behind me, but he wasn't there. I quickly grabbed the parchment, my potions book, quill, and ink and headed up the stairs to the first year boys dorm. I dumped all my stuff on my bed and walked over to Remus. 

"Can I borrow your chess set?" I asked. Remus nodded and handed it to me. I could sense that something was wrong, something outside of the petty anger at Sirius for pushing him into something he didn't want to do. I decided that I would take a chance, "what's up?"

"Nothing, my mother's sick. I'll have to go home in a couple of days to visit her," Remus said quickly. He pulled his neatly folded pajamas out of his trunk and pulled the curtains closed around his bed. His quick departure and answer left me puzzled for a few moments. I started towards the door, then stopped. 

"Didn't you say that your parents were going away for the holidays?" I asked. I heard Remus quietly swear under his breath and he pulled the curtains open.   
"Peter, are we playing or not?" Sirius asked, startling me. I nodded my head and followed him out of the room and back down the common room, where Arabella was still sitting at the table. I set out Remus' chess set and began to play. After awhile, she joined me to remind me of the spaces. I kept picking up the pieces and moving them by accident, causing them to bite my fingers. 

After a couple of games, the two of us headed up to the room. Remus was already asleep and Sirius soon followed the suite. I tossed and turned, but I couldn't fall asleep. Something that Remus had said wasn't adding up, but it wasn't any of my concern. Pushing that thought out of my head was easy, but it was quickly replaced by a more dreaded feeling. The next day was Christmas. I had gotten everybody boxes of candy that I had owl-ordered, but would they get me anything? My mother had told me not to come home. Was she going to ignore Christmas as well? Last year hadn't been very satisfying.

I had woken up and walked down the stairs to see my half-sister playing with piles of new toys and my mother and stepfather sipping coffee and smiling at a package or another. I bobbed my head at the quick scolding I'd received for waking up late and started on the smile pile of packages that my mother had beckoned to. The usual colored picture from my half-sister who had framed it in a collection of sticks tied together with pieces of grass that were beginning to rot. My stepfather had bought me Quidditch Through the Ages. My real father had forgotten Christmas all together this year. There wasn't a present from him in the stack. My mother handed me a small package with a book of potions in it. The book was very old, rotting at the corners. She'd gotten it from a second hand store while my half-sister romped through the piles of new dolls and magical coloring books. Christmas was always so special when you were being ignored. 

"Presents!" I heard Sirius holler. I checked my watch. It was almost seven, an all time record for how late I had slept in on Christmas. He fell off the edge of his bed into the large pile of packages at the foot. Remus let out a sleepy laugh and joined him on the floor with his own pile. I tentatively followed, my stack not quite as large as either of theirs. Several boxes of candy, a couple of books, some magical tricks, and a nice set of quills later, I was done. Just as I had expected, there was nothing from either parent at the foot of my bed. 

"Peter, I think that this is one of yours," Remus said, holding out large box. "I got it by accident." I pulled the box towards me and began to unwrap it. Sirius was already reminding us of the joy of dungbombs, causing me to rip off the paper faster. I opened the box to reveal a Shooting Star. It had several scratches along the handle and the name was smudged, but it was otherwise in fine condition. I pulled out a small envelope underneath the broom and opened it. 

_Peter,_

Your mother won't approve of me sending this to you, but I don't have a son of my own to pass it onto. Amelia won't grow into this for years and by then, there will probably be a newer and better model on the market that your mother will purchase for her. I hope you enjoy it. I know that you are not allowed your own broomstick, so I suggest that you keep it under your bed at Hogwarts and not try to fly it until next year. My time at Hogwarts was some of the best years of my life. Cherish them

Your step-father, Andrew


	4. Finals

Wow, when I said I had writer's block, I really didn't mean to start a new story and to forget about this one completely. I just hope that people read this and that I actually continue it this time. I really mean to. I think I'm going to try and finish it soon. I'm going to bring this story through seventh year, then skip around to the important events.  

**Anyway, information in this chapter was on occasion obtained from Harry Potter Lexicon at this URL: **** It's a great informational webpage.**

**Disclaimer: I don't the Harry Potter world or any of it's inhabitants. Peter's mother, step-father (Andrew), and half-sister (Amelia) are all products of my imagination. **

**A Rat's Tale**

**Finals **

I don't know why, but after that, things started to change. Sirius was in awe that I, Peter, had a broom that the staff hadn't found and that he hadn't thought of such a simplistic way of hiding a broom of his own here. Of course, he didn't cease to remind me that his model was better then a Shooting Star but Remus kindly reminded him time after time that I had a broom and he didn't and that maybe he shouldn't talk until his broom somehow ended up under his bed. Sirius usually stopped talking after that.

            James came back to school with a tan and an extra inch added to his height. He began to constantly trip over himself, taking my place as Gryffindor with two left feet. When he came back, Sirius' teasing came to a sudden halt and my confidence began to grow. Little by little, whenever somebody bothered me, I just remembered how I ignored my mother when she yelled. Blocking people out wasn't as hard as it had been.

            The year went on like that. James and Sirius got into enough trouble for the teachers to come up with a numbered list of punishments and then randomly pick from it when one of them scored a detention. Remus began to disappear once a month. Whenever somebody in his family got sick, he was gone. Sirius and Remus assumed that his family had a very weak immune system, but I kept on remembering the Christmas incident. Every time he left again, I'd shrug it off and try to be as carefree as James and Sirius. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't.

            Things remained the same until the end of the year. Finals were in a month. Remus and Lily had begun to study for what started as fifteen minutes and grew to two hours a night. After a week, Arabella joined their study sessions and after two more, I joined them as well. James and Sirius were content to retain what they'd learned through the year, each convinced that they didn't need to study, which left the four of us at a table in the library without distractions. 

            One night, I left earlier then the other three. Herbology had been my strong point throughout the year and they had decided to memorize each herb and its uses, a task I'd already completed. I made my way through the halls and up several staircases. It wasn't late, but for some reason I was tired. I slipped and got my leg stuck in the trick stair. I yelled several times, but there wasn't anybody in the halls to hear me. I tried to settle myself as best I could. Remus, Lily, and Arabella would be coming from the Library this way within an hour and I could wait. My books hadn't landed too far away and I wasn't falling any deeper into the stair. For some reason instead of panicking like I usually would have, I tried to make the best of what had happened. I opened my transfiguration book and hoped that it wouldn't slip through the stairs. I couldn't afford to buy another one.

            "Do you need any help?" I heard a good fifteen to twenty minutes later. I hadn't been paying attention to what was going on around me. Thousands of people could have climbed up and down the stairs and I wouldn't have asked a single one for help.

            "That'd be great," I said, carefully placing the book on a stair that I knew was safe. A dark haired boy I didn't know grabbed my arm and helped me pry myself from the stair. Once I was standing on solid stairs again, I grabbed my book and stuffed it into my bag. "Thanks."

            "Not a problem," the boy said. He turned and walked up the stairs. I followed, several steps behind him. At the top of the stairs, he turned in the direction that I often saw Slytherins walk in to get to their common room. I turned the other direction, towards the Gryffindor room and walked away. 

            The next day in Potions class, I ran into him again. Sirius and James had partnered up and Remus had left to visit his sick aunt, leaving me partnerless. It had happened before, I was used to making the potions by myself. However, this time the boy walked over to me. "Do you have a partner?" 

            "No," I answered. Slytherins and Gryffindors never worked together. It was breaking the sacred rule of house rivalry. 

            "It might be in our mutual best interest that we work together. I don't quite understand this potion," he extended his hand to me. "I'm Severus Snape. It's nice to meet you." He started to gather up the potion ingredients, then set his cauldron on the table. Before I knew it, he had started to add ingredients. After a few moments, I began to slice the caterpillars that he handed me. I didn't really think anything of the whole incident until I got back to the common room that night. I had gone to another study session with Lily and Arabella. This time, thankfully, I hadn't gotten stuck on my way back.

            "Why were you working with Snape?" Sirius asked me the moment I got back to the room. I dumped my books next to my bed and turned around to face him.

            "Because I didn't have a partner. I don't understand what we're doing." I said. "Is Remus back yet?" 

            "No. Don't work with Snape anymore. If you don't have a partner, work with the girls. Or us. Triple up." 

            "If I had thought of that before, I would have. But like I said, I didn't understand what we were doing. And now I do. Why do you have a problem with Snape anyway? He's really actually nice."

            "He follows us around. Every time I see him we get into trouble. Anyway, do you know his family's reputation?"

            "No." He was forgetting that my childhood had left me conveniently out of the loop of the goings-on of the Wizarding world. "Do I need to know? Look, next time if you don't want me working with somebody random, invite me to join your group. It isn't that hard." I pulled the curtains around my bed shut. 

            The year ended with Sirius and I not speaking to one another. Remus returned in low spirits and his mood spread to all of us. By finals, we were snapping at each other daily. When finals were over, we were all glad to be going home. 

            That summer, things around the house only slightly changed. Mom was still mad that I hadn't managed to find a way to spend the summer at Hogwarts. She still didn't quite believe that I had been capable of passing the first year with decent marks in all my classes but Herbology, where I received high marks. Andrew had started to treat me better then he had before, especially when Mom wasn't around. He took me over to a meadow nearby our house and taught me how to fly the Shooting Star he had sent me for Christmas. I wasn't very good, but I could work my way around the field without falling off. He blamed the broom and said that I needed something better, but I was just happy to be out of the house. 

            By the time September came around, I was ready to return to Hogwarts. Amelia had decided that it was funny to tell Mom stories about me, often resulting in punishment of some kind. The owl that I had somehow inherited was taken away on a regular basis, usually right after James or Remus sent me a letter, resulting in my not replying for several days. They stopped writing after awhile and I wasn't sure how friendly they were going to be towards me when I met them back on the train.

            Once again this year I was pushed through the barrier. This time, my mom didn't even bother to follow and just shoved my trunk through after me. I pulled it along behind me, grasping the Shooting Star in one hand. Second Years were allowed to have brooms. I knew I wasn't going to make the team, but I figured that I'd try just for the experience and maybe I'd actually get to use it sometimes. I pulled my trunk into a compartment and pulled out one of my books. Before I knew it, the room had three more passengers in it.

            "Why didn't you ever write back?" James asked, annoyed. He had grown over the summer, at least three inches taller then he'd been. He'd also somehow managed to acquire glasses, even though he had claimed he could see the board just fine and that the headaches were nothing. 

            "I did write back. I just couldn't do it very promptly." I answered. James shrugged and started talking about his summer holiday. I listened, but his adventures seemed to revolve around how much he hated his glasses. After awhile, I began to drift off. I didn't wake up until we had reached Hogwarts.

            The feast was the same that year as it had been the year before. Several new Gryffindors were sorted into the house; however this year a more even amount of boys and girls.  Lily and Arabella were both back, each with a tan and an interesting story about how they'd spent their summer. Lily's older sister had apparently been shipped off to a sleep-away camp, leaving her parents alone with her the entire summer. Lily had been thrilled about the attention, but something was wrong with the way she had spoken about her sister. She obviously hadn't gotten along with her for the few days that she'd seen her before she had left.

            Once the feast was over and Sirius had managed to obtain his first detention of the year, we all trooped back to the room. As we all returned to our respective beds I had the feeling that this year was going to seem a lot longer then the last. I don't really know why.


	5. Trials

Wow, this is part five. I really didn't expect this part to go out so soon, but I started writing and just kept going. I hope I get some reviews on this one, I really need some feedback and some criticism (negative is good, positive is better.) 

**Anyway, I don't own any of Harry Potter. I own Peter's parents, step-father, and half-sister, but that's about it.**

**A Rat's Tale**

**Trials**

The next morning at breakfast, Dumbledore announced Quidditch trials for the houses had sign-ups posted in the common rooms. I saw James and Sirius look at excitedly at one another, and then quickly start to stuff food into their respective mouths. That night, each of them had pulled a new style of broom out of their trunks and Sirius decided to take his for a "test run" in the bedroom resulting in a broken light and bed post. Needless to say, this was the cause of his second detention. Professor McGonagall had decided that it might be easier for her to just not leave Sirius alone at all, but had decided to instead take away the two broomsticks that had been lying around the bedroom. She'd promised to give them back at the Quidditch trials and not a moment sooner, causing them to stare under my bed, then at me. My broom was still safely hidden in its box. It wasn't half as advanced as either of theirs, but it was a broom and it was still in the room. 

            A few days later I walked over to the sign-ups for trials. There were three openings on the team, one for a beater and two for chasers. There were four names already on the list with Sirius and James' the biggest and taking up about four lines more then either of them needed to. The other two names were fifth years. I remembered them from Quidditch trials the year before. The team had only needed two people last year and four had tried out. The two who had been cut weren't bad players, they were actually just as talented as those who had already made the team. Their particular positions hadn't been needed that year though and they'd been asked to try again the next year. This made me extremely hesitant to add my name to the list. If either Sirius or James were as good as they claimed to be, there was no chance that I'd make the team. But Andrew had spent a month teaching me how to ride the broom and although it wasn't particularly good, I liked to fly. Not trying out would probably make him very disappointed and he was the only one who cared at that house. After a few more seconds of pondering the idea, I put my name down on the list. At least I could say that I had tried. 

            That night, after an exhausting day of classes, we all sat down in the Great Hall with the girls. The two of them were eyeing a fifth year Ravenclaw and giggling to themselves. Every once in awhile their eyes swept over the room, but they always managed to come back to the same guy. James and Sirius were talking to each other, ignoring me as they so frequently did. After about fifteen minutes of silence, the current captain of the Quidditch team walked over to the two of them.

            "Are you the three second years that signed up for trials?" he asked. He was tall muscular, just about the opposite of me in everyway. Lily and Arabella looked at him, then giggled. He shot them an annoyed look, and turned back to James and Sirius.

            "We signed up, he didn't," James said, pointing at Remus. "Since there's only four second year guys, who else signed up? I don't think Lily or Arabella have ever willingly touched a broom in their lives." 

            "So not true," Arabella said. She and Lily glanced at each other, and then started to giggle again. "I like brooms…" Lily exploded again, laughing so hard she almost cried. She grabbed Arabella's hand and the two of them ran out of the Great Hall.

            "Then who signed up?" Sirius asked. At that moment, I couldn't believe how dense the two of them were being. 

            "I did," I put in. Sirius and James looked at me. James nodded, but Sirius had to hold his breath to stop himself from laughing. I glared at him. "Sorry, you're just not the Quidditch type. Do you even know how to fly?"

            I nodded my head and turned to the captain. "Is there something you need to tell us?"

            "Yeah, trials have been moved. Instead of having them a week from tomorrow, we're going to have them in three days. We didn't book the field soon enough and the Slytherins got it first. Anyway, good luck to all three of you." He walked away, shaking his head. The moment he was out of sight, James and Sirius turned on me.

            "You're trying out for Quidditch?" Sirius asked.

            "Yes I am." I answered. 

            'You're only doing it because we are," he put in again. "Peter, have you ever touched a broom? I mean, besides that one that's hiding under your bed."

            "I flew all summer."

            "Then why didn't you come to visit us?" James asked. 

            "I couldn't. My Mom would get mad."

            "Good excuse." That was Sirius.  
            "It's no excuse, it's the truth. Look, why don't you just let me do this. I'm not going to make the team and frankly, one of you two aren't going to either. I'm not your competition Sirius, James is."

            The two of them looked at each other. Sirius got out of his seat and started towards the door. James looked at me, swore under his breath, and then ran after him. A few minutes later, Remus followed, leaving me in the Great Hall alone with the first years. They looked towards me, then quickly looked away. Suddenly I was the bad guy.

            Quidditch trials came up sooner then I thought they would. Between everything that had gone on that week, I hadn't had any time to actually get my broom out and practice. I knew I was in far worse condition then any of them. For a few days, I had toyed with the idea of just dropping out and letting Sirius and James face off in front of the whole house. I had asked the captain about reserve players, but he had said that they usually didn't take reserve players because it was boarding school and it was very unlikely that any of them were going to go anywhere. So the day of the trials, I pulled my Shooting Star out from under my bed and walked out to the field about five paces behind James and Sirius, who were trying to psych one another out of the running.

            Needless to say, I didn't make the team. I actually came a lot closer then I thought I would have. Sirius, although daring, wasn't half as good a beater as they wanted on the team that year. Like I had suspected, the two from the year before were the first to be chosen. Since one of those two wanted to be a beater, they only needed a chaser. James showed more potential for that position then anybody the captain had seen play in a long time. When his name was announced, James stuck out his hand and shook mine, then Sirius'. Instead of taking it, Sirius slunk back to the castle. 

            I started to follow him, but not until I had talked to the team a little. They had some good tips for me and told me that I should practice seeking over the summer and that I had some potential for the position. Unfortunately, the seeker was still a fifth year and wouldn't be leaving Hogwarts for awhile. However, it would give me enough time to get good at what I wanted to be doing. Hopefully by then I would have acquired a slightly better broom as well. 

            About twenty minutes after I'd gotten back to the common room, James returned with the team. He walked up to the room where Sirius was sulking and put his new Quidditch robes into his trunk. Sirius asked him about going down to dinner, but James said something about eating with the team. This only made Sirius sulk more. 

            It was like that for about a month. Every time that James walked into the room, Sirius would look away. Sirius began to eat with Remus, ignoring not only James, but me as well. Remus had said on numerous occasions that he didn't want to get into a fight between the three of us, but Sirius forced him in the middle without a second thought. James just dismissed it as regular Sirius behavior and started to hang out with Lily and Arabella. After a few days of not speaking to anybody at all, I began to follow James. Isolation wasn't exactly something that I was looking for. 

            Lily and Arabella, as I had discovered the year before, were still extremely nice and both were very smart. Even though neither of them had to, they spent nights in the library studying. Actually, Lily spent nights in the library studying. After a few nights of accompanying them, I noticed that Lily studied books and Arabella studied just about everything but books including all the older boys who just happened to be at the table next to theirs. After several more nights, I realized that Arabella didn't really even want to be in the library, she was just there to keep Lily company. 

            Every few nights, James would show up at their table. Those nights, things rarely got done. I'd bring my homework along, hoping for the occasional help from Lily. But on those nights, James kept everybody distracted long enough that the minimum got done and not a bit more. Usually we would all end up exploring the castle and finding new and different ways to anger the caretaker. Sometimes we ran into Remus and Sirius, but Sirius would pass us without a second glance and drag an apologetic Remus along with him. James would then huff to himself for a few seconds, then everything would be forgotten. 

            On the nights that James had Quidditch practice, I found myself ending up in the library more often. Sirius wasn't talking to me either, but we hadn't been on good terms since the year before. Lily studied books, Arabella studied the guys, and I tried to get my work done, but I did the occasional outside studying of my own. In an isolated childhood like mine, I hadn't really had much exposure to girls. Sitting around and listening to Arabella and Lily talk sometimes made me wonder about them. They were both pretty for twelve year olds and they were fun to watch. 

            But those were only on the nights when James wasn't there. When he was, Lily and Arabella were so wrapped up in him, it was like I wasn't even there. I liked the nights when he was gone the best. Those nights they paid more attention to me.

            It was like that until Christmas break. Sometime in between October and November, James and Sirius had made a mutual pact to speak to one another again. They weren't back to the level of friendship they had had before the trials, but they weren't pulling Remus around in the middle anymore either. Things weren't back to our normal level from the year before yet, but they would be in a few months. Gryffindor had won it's first Quidditch game, proving to Sirius that James was better then him on a broom and was the logical choice for the team. The second beater was a seventh year, so he was content to try again the next year and hope that he had a better chance, which he had been informed, he did. Unfortunately, it still didn't help him that his best friend had beaten him to the one thing that he'd been looking forward to all summer. For that reason, he was still bitter. 

            Christmas came and went, as did Remus. He was gone almost every month for two or three days at a time. The one thing that kept us slightly united was trying to figure out where he went. He always told us that some relative of his was sick, but his entire family seemed to be dying off one by one and by the end of the term, we were afraid that he was going to be the only Lupin left the world. I still remembered what had happened first year, and was still slightly suspicious of him. A few days before Christmas, Remus announced that he was going to be leaving again. He had told us a month before that his parents were taking the opportunity at Christmas to visit with his grandparents. We were almost positive that they had been deathly ill at some point last year, so we just let it go. When he told us that he was going to go with them, even though he'd informed us he wasn't allowed to go, we were all suspicious. What made it even weirder was when he told us he was only going to be gone for the first three days of vacation. The day after he was supposed to return would have been Christmas day. We didn't quite understand why he'd take the trouble to visit with them, then not stay for the one most important holiday, in our opinion, of the year.

            "Maybe he's hiding something," Sirius said. James and I rolled our eyes. 

            "Of course he is. It's obvious," James replied. The two of them were getting better at not biting each others heads off, but somebody always needed to be in the room while they talked.

            "He slipped up last year," I said. James and Sirius both looked at me. 

            "What do you mean?" James asked.

            "He told me he was going home to visit with his sick mother when a few days earlier he'd told us that his parents were going away and had already left." I said. 

            "Didn't he say his mother had never gotten sick?" Sirius asked.

            "No, I thought that was his father." James responded.

            "I'm almost positive that it was his mother," Sirius insisted.

            "Do you even know what positive means?"

            "I do, but do you?"

            "Stop!" I yelled. "I think we've all come to the same conclusion. Remus is hiding something."

            "Thank you Captain Obvious." 

            "Shut up Sirius."


	6. Confessions

**Well, I haven't updated this story in over six months and I wasn't sure I ever would. I can't honestly say that I've recommitted myself to it because I'm not sure if that's possible. However, it is my senior year and I have finished all of my applications and I think that there will be enough free time for me to complete more of this story. I will try my hardest, but I've come to expect long hiatus's in my work, even if I don't like it. Thank you to all who review.**

**Anyway, I don't own Harry Potter. Andrew, Amelia, and Peter's parents, although only mentioned briefly, are my creation.**

**_Note_**** _This is a PRE-OoTP story. Characters will appear as they were known before hand. I am going to try and put some OoTP into this story, but other people and parts, such as Arabella, will remain as they were. I am not going to change this entire story just so that I can give Lily's friend a new name. _**

**A Rat's Tale**

**Confessions**

And that was Christmas break, second year. Andrew didn't send me anything and I didn't expect to get anything. My dad ignored me, as usual as did my mother. The only presents I got were from the girls and James and Remus. Sirius didn't get anything for anybody that year. 

            The rest of the year was quiet and had a very serene quality to it. Every once in awhile, James and Sirius would pull a prank that would have the rest of the school talking about them for days on end. Sirius' cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa, were starting to make a name for themselves in the Slytherin house. Every now and then, one of the pranks would be directed at them, but there seemed to be a peace accord in affect. If we left them alone, they would leave us alone and Sirius's parents wouldn't hear about what he had been doing at school if the girls' parents didn't hear either. Each time we passed them in the hall, we were treated to a smirk and a nasty whispered comment and that was all. Nothing new or unusual happened that year until right before exams. 

            I had been sitting in common room and looking over my astrology chart with Lily. She was calmly explaining the origins of the names of the planets and the stages of the moons to me for what seemed to be the twentieth time. Every time I asked for help we'd go over it. She didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that I was using her as a tutor and wouldn't accept anything from me that I'd offered in payment. She told me that by reviewing with me she was also reviewing herself and that was helping her to maintain the high standards of grades that she'd come to expect of herself. 

            "So, which day in June is going to be the full moon?" she asked me. I looked over the chart I had from May and found the previous full moon. It was only a matter of taking things from there. 

            "Right on astrology final." I answered. Lily looked pleased with me and herself and began to close up the books on the table. 

            "Yeah. And I think you're going to be ready for it. Just be confident in yourself. You know all this material. You shouldn't forget it when we get to the test." She put the books into her bag. "You'll be ready for that full moon."

            "Full moon?" I turned around to see Remus standing behind us. He was carrying his book bag, which was stuffed with books that he'd taken from the library. His latest absence had left him a few days behind us in classes, but he'd always managed to catch up in a few days. 

            "Yeah, on the astrology final day." I replied. I waved goodnight to Lily and she started up the flight of stairs to the girl's dorm. 

            "Shoot."

            "What's wrong?" I asked.

            "I'm not going to be able to be there. I have to talk to Dumbledore." Remus replied. He walked towards the stairs to the dorm and started to take them two at a time. 

            "What is it this time?" I asked. Remus pushed open the door to find James and Sirius sitting on the floor playing a variation of Exploding Snap. The cards James was holding exploded in his hand as he quickly turned his head to face us. 

            "What do you mean?"

            "I mean, last time it was your aunt. Or your uncle. I can't remember which. Who is it this time? Do you already know, two weeks in advance, who's going to be sick?" I looked at Remus and he stared back at me in awe. I'd never spoken to any of them like this before. 

            "Wedding. My brother."

            "But I thought your brother had an uncontrollable case of pneumonia four months ago. Three months ago you went to his funeral. Remember?" This time it was James who cut in. "Remus, what are you hiding?"

            "It's like every full moon…" I started, but then drifted off. Remus' eyes widened and he looked away. 

            "You're gone." Sirius finished. He started to laugh. "What are you, a werewolf?" Remus' started to shake violently and he tried desperately not to catch our eyes. Sirius suddenly stopped laughing. "You are. Aren't you?" It was more of a statement then a question, but it didn't matter. Remus went to his trunk and opened it and began to throw things inside.

            "What are you doing?" I asked. James and Sirius dropped the smoking cards and sat down on Remus' bed. 

            "Packing. You wouldn't want a werewolf at school with you. I'm going to have to leave now." Remus looked down, but there was no way for him to hide the fact that he was crying. "It was fun while it lasted. You don't have to keep in touch."

            "Where are you going?" Sirius demanded. Remus looked up at him, the tears openly streaming down his tired face. 

            "I have to leave."

            "What are you, nuts?" This time it was James.

            "No. You don't have to pretend. I get it. You don't want to be friends with a man killing _beast like me. I'm dangerous. I can go crazy and kill people at any second. Don't you understand? You don't want to be associated with me. You're only going to get yourself into trouble. Sirius, what would your mother say? James, what about your parents? Peter…well, I guess that yours wouldn't care, but still, none of you can go home and say, 'this is Remus, he's a werewolf from Hogwarts'." Remus stopped babbling and looked at each of us. "Please move while I pack._

            "Wait, you're a werewolf?" Sirius asked again. Remus looked at him like he was going to attack him at any second.

            "What part of that did you not understand?"

            "No, wait. That is so bloody COOL." Sirius said, his voice getting louder by the word. "Do you hunt? What's it like to be something else? Can you bite somebody for me? Just Bellatrix, Narcissa isn't that bad. And my brother. I mean, he won't be a student for another year, but he's so _annoying_. Oh yeah, my mum and my pop too. Maybe I should just set you loose during the summer. I'll have to lock myself in a room or something, but you wouldn't bite me, right? I'm your friend. Yeah, you wouldn't do that." Sirius looked at Remus with a huge grin on his face. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

            Remus' mouth was hanging open in a style I'd only seen in the muggle comics Andrew bought for Amelia. James was looking at Sirius and then at Remus and trying not to laugh. 

            "Are you insane?" Remus shouted. "You don't want to be my friend!" 

            "How is this going to change anything? You're still the Remus we knew before." James put in. He got off of the bed and swung an arm around Remus. "You're not going anywhere." 

            Remus' face was full of relief. He looked calm and relaxed, both states of being that we'd not often seen him in before He looked each of us in the eye and we all nodded in turn. I heard him mumble something under his breath and then he lay down in his bead and closed the curtains. Almost immediately, we followed the suite, but not before the deck of cards gave us a miniature fireworks display.   
  



End file.
